Winter is the hardest season for me like it is for a lot of people.  The waterways are frozen and I have to put my fly rods away until March. This is my grumpiest time of year and if I’m being honest, I get a little depressed. Fishing has always been my church, my therapy, my escape from the real world and all my stresses.

When my step daughter, Emma, started college she found herself questioning her major.  She lost her confidence and actually developed anxiety and depresssion.  She wasn’t sure where she stood in this world. It was an extremely trying and stressful time in her life so we invited her to move into the bunkhouse for the winter to hopefully reset and sort through things.   

I am no therapist but I do know when I am fishing I think of nothing else but catching fish. I think about what fly to cast, the placement on the water and where the fish may be holding. I clear my mind of everything else. Knowing how much fishing has helped me free my mind in times I’ve felt overwhelmed with life,  I asked her to go fishing with me. But this wasn’t just your basic fishing trip, this was a trip to New York, fishing for Steelhead.  I wasn’t going to be a trip to learn to fly fish or to wade or how to wrangle a steelie.  Or was it?  

Much to my surprise, Emma agreed to go. She was all in and ready for a little fish therapy. Take me to church!  We left on Wednesday night after work hoping to drive through the night.  About  half way there we decided to stop at a rest stop and sleep for an hour.  Emma played her rain sounds to help soothe us to sleep.  It worked so well we woke up 3 hours later.  When we arrived at the river the sun was coming up. The parking lots were full and our shot at a good fishing spot was slim.  It was veterans day weekend which makes the river extra crowded. 

I took her to lower fly knowing this was the safest and best spot for her to get a fish. As we walked up the wall I saw a spot that the two of us could get in to. After getting her into a safe spot I showed her how to nymph.  She was flipping and watching her indicator for any movement. Within minutes I was able to hook a steelhead. I yelled for her to reel up and take my rod. I talked her through the fight and she landed the steelie. I snapped a few pictures and the fish was released.

Soon after, I realized some friends of ours were fishing across from us as well as above us.  They offered us a spot above for Emma to try.  It was knee deep water with a perfect flow for her to nymph. I positioned myself below her under a tree knowing I could quickly get to her if she needed help.  Suddenly I hear  “she’s got one!” from our friends across the river. I quickly reeled up and put my rod in the tree behind me. I shouted instructions as I made my way to her.  The fish was making a run for it so I firmly grabbed the back of her waders and helped her make her way down river for the chase. Keep in mind this was her first time wading and first steelie she had ever hooked herself.  We had to get down river, around a big tree into some slow water that was almost to the top of her waders and up onto the rock wall all while fighting a fish that is jumping and pulling off line. Emma listened and fought the fish like a seasoned angler.  She stayed on the rock wall while I got down in the water with the net. I talked her through ever inch of the fight and she was able to slide the fish into the net. As she fought the fish you saw other anglers stop to watch her and when the fish slid into the net, you could hear claps and cheers for her. Despite what you hear about the crowds and fights on the Salmon River, people are very encouraging and excited for young new fly fishers. 

After we hugged and high fived we heard, “hold up the fish for your mother!” We look up to see our friend Nick filming the whole thing. From hook up to the netting of the fish. He sent the video off to Stac who happened to be shopping with her other daughters. She was surprised to get a video message but knew if Nick sent it, it must be of Emma. They gathered around her phone to watched it and all shed tears knowing how important this fish was.

A lot happened in those two days for Emma. She not only caught her first steelhead, she forgot all her stresses and quieted the noise in her head. She relaxed and reflected and was able to reset. She found peace at the river. I have always believed that fishing was therapy.  I am an intense person but fishing brings peace into my life.  It has helped me through some life’s biggest challenges. There is nothing better than standing in a river, casting a fly.  The sound of the water and the birds are enough to make you forget all your worries, you focus on nothing but the fish. So maybe the next time you find yourself in some hard times, try picking up a fly rod and head to the river. Maybe a day of fishing is what you need. Maybe it will bring you peace in a time when all you hear is noise.